Features Overview

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Growing up, I was always the shy introvert who preferred to stay in her room -- away from the action, away from the attention, away from any possibility of being judged or criticized. Being alone was safe. It was where I could let my imagination roam free. It was where I could sing and dance freely and dress in a way that made me feel sexy and confident. I’d listen to oldies and awful-yet-amazing pop music while fantasizing about crushes who didn’t know I existed. (Le sigh). I’d read about love and sex for hours in teenie bopper magazines and eventually Cosmopolitan -- it fascinated me to no end.



You see, behind closed doors, I could be my true self, a self that I didn’t feel safe enough to share with many people. I created a rich inner world that was way more fun than the world in which I was living. But over time, it took a toll on me. I felt trapped. I had ideas and humor and interests that I was dying to show the world but couldn’t.

I dreamt of being a comedian or a rock star but couldn’t bring myself to take lessons because it would require too much attention. It would require my voice being heard, my whole self being seen. And that shit is scary.



The fear was REAL. It affected every area of my life for years.

I hid my body as a result of body image issues and feeling the need to suppress my sexual expression.

I was so scared of being fully seen by my partners or prospective partners that I hid the parts of me that I really love--the parts that make me *me* -- like my weirdness and my crass and goofy sense of humor. Instead of coming across as the smart, fun girl I knew I was, I came across as quiet and awkward. Not to mention I couldn’t connect deeply with my partners because I attracted ones who had issues with emotional intimacy -- a serious #womp when you’ve dreamt of having a deeply intimate relationship for years.


I finally decided enough is enough. Suppressing my desires and voice wasn’t bringing the contentment that I longed for. I desired an exciting, vibrant life and I knew I had to be bold and brave if I wanted to have a life full of all that I desired. I knew I had to let my true self be seen and heard.

 

So I took small steps to get there.

 

I went to a small university to get my master’s in counseling, rather than a huge one with over 40k students like where I went to undergrad. At my grad school, I could no longer hide amongst the sea of students. I was forced to speak up, and over time, it got fairly easy. I pushed myself to make it easier by becoming president of the international counseling honor society. Holding meetings and making speeches allowed me to face my fears.

 

I also lived out my childhood dream and joined a funk band as a back-up singer. There’s no hiding on stage -- everyone saw my awkward dance moves and heard my voice, missed words and all.

 

I even went to therapy -- if there’s any place where you must force yourself to be fully seen, it’s there! With my therapist, I learned about the root of all my “stuff,” unconscious patterns I was repeating when it came to dating, and so much more.

 

The more I learned to love and accept myself, the more I allowed myself to be seen and heard. And it made me feel more liberated and light than I’d ever felt.

 

I think this could be a great place to start talking about your evolution, sexually.

 

With all of the worthiness and love I’ve found for myself, I’ve been able to quiet the fears of judgement and dress however I want, whether that includes oversized sweats that make me look like a bum or some sexy side boob. I even dyed my hair purple!

 

I’ve become a bold, strong, empowered woman who can say “no” to uncomfortable situations and men that don’t respect my boundaries, and I more easily attract conscious men who are emotionally intelligent and able to connect deeply in all kinds of ways.

 

I’m now able to communicate my needs and desires, despite it being vulnerable, because I know am worthy of all of the pleasure I want and I know it won’t just be handed to me -- I must go after it.

 

I’ve shaked any shame around exploring my sexuality because I’ve realized how much I let society dictate the rules around my body and my sexuality. I hold the power now.

 

And now I help others do the same, because I’ve stopped ignoring my insatiable appetite and interest for all things sex, relationships, and intimacy out of fear that it’s too “taboo.”

 

So, love. If you want to feel as free as I do…

 

If you want to have deeply fulfilling relationships and sex…

 

If you want a life full of pleasure of all kinds -- in and out of the bedroom

 

If you’re sick of hiding in shame and want to learn how to fully express yourself -- creatively, sexually, spiritually, sensually, or beyond…

 

If you’re so god damn ready to show the world the real YOU… (because, hint: learning to show the real you is the key to having all of the above!)

 

Then let’s make it happen…

 

Together.