I Am Enough (And You Are Too)
I took some photos of my brother this week for him to use as promotional materials for his book (in a cemetary! Intriguing, right?) He wanted to take some of me afterward and at first I declined.
"My hair isn't straight. I feel fat. This outfit isn't flattering. I wasn't prepared."
My typical irrational worries were starting to take over, things that society made me feel "less than" for since childhood.
Until I said "fuck it."
I'm so glad I did; I would have missed out on many laughs and an awesome memory with one of my favorite people had I not just gone for it.
Despite having to fight my anxieties and insecurities every day, I feel I've come a long way. Even the fact that I'm posting this photo (above) proves it. There were others I could have posted, ones in which I looked stoic, my hair was placed perfectly, and the angle was juuust right.
But ya know what? That's not the real me.
I'm not a twig with naturally sleek hair, I'm emotional, goofy, and animated, and my gums show when I laugh, which I'm starting to embrace instead of hate. These seem like such superficial things to worry about, and you probably see nothing wrong with this photo, but the point is that this stuff is ingrained in us since we're born and can keep us trapped in torment day in and day out.
Rationally most of us know that our appearances mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but does that stop us from caring and sometimes obsessing? Not often enough.
It's too easy to spend your life trying to be (or look like) someone else and enduring the pain that comes with it, and not nearly easy enough to just accept ourselves for all that we are, right now.
We must keep fighting societal standards of beauty and embracing and loving every inch of ourselves.
If you don't have a kind heart? Now that's something to worry about. Not how you look.